How To Win Friends and Influence People

One of the best books, and i think it should be read by everyone. there are lots of stories and examples, and i would recommend listening to the Audio book with/without the book.

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:

1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants.
4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit. We could give a curt order like this: " John, we have customers coming in tomorrow and I need the stockroom cleaned out. So sweep it out, put the stock in neat piles on the shelves and polish the counter.” Or we could express the same idea by showing John the benefits he will get from doing the task: “John, we have a job that should be completed right away. If it is done now, we won’t be faced with it later. I am bringing some customers in tomorrow to show our facilities. I would like to show them the stockroom, but it is in poor shape. If you could sweep it out, put the stock in neat piles on the shelves, and polish the counter, it would make us look efficient and you will have done your part to provide a good company image.”

Be a Leader

• Principle 1 - Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
• Principle 2 - Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
• Principle 3 - Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
• Principle 4 - Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
• Principle 5 - Let the other person save face.
• Principle 6 - Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
• Principle 7 - Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
• Principle 8 - Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
• Principle 9 -Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Win People to your Way of Thinking

• Principle 1 - The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Principle 2 - Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
• Principle 3 - If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Principle 4 - Begin in a friendly way.
• Principle 5 - Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
• Principle 6 - Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Principle 7 - Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
• Principle 8 - Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• Principle 9 - Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• Principle 10 - Appeal to the nobler motives.
• Principle 11 - Dramatize your ideas.
• Principle 12 -Throw down a challenge.

Sic Ways to Make People Like you

• Principle 1 - Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Principle 2 - Smile.
• Principle 3 - Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
• Principle 4 - Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Principle 5 - Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Principle 6 - Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

• Principle 1 - Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
• Principle 2 - Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Principle 3 - Arouse in the other person an eager want.